Went to the docs this morning, waiting on the results, they will call in the morning. If things are good on my end we will go to the docs on Thursday and get all situated and delivery is Saturday at 9:30!
If things are getting hairy by the blood work then we go Tuesday, then there is sudden nature and my water breaks and we go before anyway.
The babies are looking good they say, I'm not, they didn't have to tell me that there is enough fluid to sink a boat on board...
Am I scared, oh yeah, am I ready I guess, better now than later, do I want to think about the next 4 days...na I wish I could just go off somewhere. But ah yes there are things to do like get my daughter well, yeah Anneleise has taken to a case of either poison ivy/oak or and athletes feet...ah, the trials of parenthood.
I'm getting really scared about the health of the girls and their conditions and then there is the whole section thing. I did okay with the girls last time but I feel so horrible now that I can't imagine surgery helping anything.
Pray for me and the babies, and Tom and please pray that the change isn't too much for Anneleise. Oh dear I just thought about her not being a only child after Saturday...how crazy is that?
I have wanted this for ever for us and for her, hope she is as appreciative.
Rebeka Elizabeth Maycee and Brennah Atlynd Brooke
July 21, 2008
July 14, 2008
Yet anothr update...
Since I am typing this I'm sure you are able to come to the conclusion that I am not in the hospital in a coma.
I pay a very good high risk doctor and dang it, she knows her stuff. The fluid is better on both of the girls, baby "a" belly is looking a lot better she lost two weeks of measurements of the belly in 4 days. Baby "b" is doing well also.
We are going to continue the insulin on a sliding scale, rest and working on some pain management on the adhesion's for me, at best I can give another week, with divine intervention...two.
She has promised me that if I get to the 27th of July our 34th week she will call the hospital and end this uphill battle.
In order for this to happen my sugar and the girls fluid and sugar has to remain stable and there is always the chance that I go into labor and we can't stop it then that will be the day!
I pay a very good high risk doctor and dang it, she knows her stuff. The fluid is better on both of the girls, baby "a" belly is looking a lot better she lost two weeks of measurements of the belly in 4 days. Baby "b" is doing well also.
We are going to continue the insulin on a sliding scale, rest and working on some pain management on the adhesion's for me, at best I can give another week, with divine intervention...two.
She has promised me that if I get to the 27th of July our 34th week she will call the hospital and end this uphill battle.
In order for this to happen my sugar and the girls fluid and sugar has to remain stable and there is always the chance that I go into labor and we can't stop it then that will be the day!
July 13, 2008
It's 12:40 am...
do you know where your fetus's are?
Mine are hanging in here with me, driving me mad. Mad I tell you.
"A" it knocking to come out, and "b", well she just want to get her two cents in. Honestly, these two will probably need tethers to just make it out.
I'm going to the docs at 1:00 tomorrow, Not a moment too soon either, I am itching to death and they are hammering me with contractions.
Something has to give or I need to be induced...into a coma that is.
Mine are hanging in here with me, driving me mad. Mad I tell you.
"A" it knocking to come out, and "b", well she just want to get her two cents in. Honestly, these two will probably need tethers to just make it out.
I'm going to the docs at 1:00 tomorrow, Not a moment too soon either, I am itching to death and they are hammering me with contractions.
Something has to give or I need to be induced...into a coma that is.
July 11, 2008
Another update, another plan.
I'm home.
I'm feeling really foul.
They took 100 cc's off baby "b", wanted to do the same for "a" but honestly I couldn't handle it, we had this done for Aubrey in our last pregnancy, however this time I guess with adhesion's and both of them having more fluid it was way more hurtful.
She was happy with the one, the fluid was clear and looked go. For about 4 hours it felt good, gave me some relieve, however I can feel it building up again already.
We are now on a sliding insulin scale. I am not very happy of this, and i just pray that my kidneys are not effected from all of this as well as my pancreas and liver. Yggh.
The girls looked good, very very active.
The new plan is to make it till Monday. Then we will see. There is talk, and I mean only talk that this week will be the week.
I don't want to get my hopes up and I do want the babies to be safe, but ohhhh how sweet it would be for them to move out...just the idea of it gives me a glimmer of hope.
It is getting very hard to get ready for them, the discomfort is 24 hours 7 dys a week now and frankly just functioning is all I can do, I don't feel like I am getting any bonding or preparation for them to arrive, makes me a bit sad. I just sit around alone while Tom entertains and keeps Anneleise busy, and seems the only talk about the babies is what is going on with their health and mine. The big whoop is going to the doctors and maybe tothe store, which ends up with me ditting in the car while Tom finishes the shopping. No normal fun pregnancy stuff this pregnancy either.
Guess some people get to celebrate a pregnancy and some just have their babies. Best case senerio this time arund is we get to have our babies. Really in the grand scheme of things that is all we wanted anyway, a little fun and excitement would help the stress of all this though.
I'm feeling really foul.
They took 100 cc's off baby "b", wanted to do the same for "a" but honestly I couldn't handle it, we had this done for Aubrey in our last pregnancy, however this time I guess with adhesion's and both of them having more fluid it was way more hurtful.
She was happy with the one, the fluid was clear and looked go. For about 4 hours it felt good, gave me some relieve, however I can feel it building up again already.
We are now on a sliding insulin scale. I am not very happy of this, and i just pray that my kidneys are not effected from all of this as well as my pancreas and liver. Yggh.
The girls looked good, very very active.
The new plan is to make it till Monday. Then we will see. There is talk, and I mean only talk that this week will be the week.
I don't want to get my hopes up and I do want the babies to be safe, but ohhhh how sweet it would be for them to move out...just the idea of it gives me a glimmer of hope.
It is getting very hard to get ready for them, the discomfort is 24 hours 7 dys a week now and frankly just functioning is all I can do, I don't feel like I am getting any bonding or preparation for them to arrive, makes me a bit sad. I just sit around alone while Tom entertains and keeps Anneleise busy, and seems the only talk about the babies is what is going on with their health and mine. The big whoop is going to the doctors and maybe tothe store, which ends up with me ditting in the car while Tom finishes the shopping. No normal fun pregnancy stuff this pregnancy either.
Guess some people get to celebrate a pregnancy and some just have their babies. Best case senerio this time arund is we get to have our babies. Really in the grand scheme of things that is all we wanted anyway, a little fun and excitement would help the stress of all this though.
July 10, 2008
Update.
Sugar is higher now since on insulin. Belly is way whoo! bigger and tighter and the babies go thorugh periods of frantic activity then nothing.
Are you seeing a pattern yet? Well for those who are a bit slow let me help you. These babies need to come out.
After 2 hours of interrupted sleep last night we are on the way to the doctors this morning.
Who knows what has happens since Tuesday, what is happening today...Lord only knows what is in store.
Oh yeah, we need some prayers.
I really have a gut fear that there is something wrong with the babies that we don't know.
Paranoid? Hope so.
Are you seeing a pattern yet? Well for those who are a bit slow let me help you. These babies need to come out.
After 2 hours of interrupted sleep last night we are on the way to the doctors this morning.
Who knows what has happens since Tuesday, what is happening today...Lord only knows what is in store.
Oh yeah, we need some prayers.
I really have a gut fear that there is something wrong with the babies that we don't know.
Paranoid? Hope so.
July 08, 2008
Tick tock...
Yeah that is the sound that is resignating in my head as I type this.
Today, actually last night the straw that broke the camels back was laid upon me.
We went to the maternal fetal specialist early this am and as the title states...we are buying minutes.
Congratulate me, I can now add insulin dependant pregnancy induced insulin resistance diabetes to my resume of issues. New adhesion's thick enough to be seen via ultrasound, which is frightening in itself and two little babies who bellies can't not get any bigger and who's fluid (amino) is at the upper levels of safe i think 23 something that they can't empty their bladders well.
So here is the newest plan.
Pray to the Lord that we can make it to the 28th. This is like two weeks. I will be 34 weeks and there is basically a 90 % chance of survival among these births at this time period with few if any long term repercussions and delays. The over all hospital stay will be quite less than if we deliver this week.
I started insulin ~ NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS...but what is a mother to do? Please pray that this will help reduce the amount of fluid in the amino sacs or at best slowdown the production of the amino fluid. Please add in your prayers that my body is not over effected in a long term manner from this "temporary" treatment.
We started Indocine again. This is our last 48 hours to use this for fluid reduction and contractions. In the past is has helped each time the benefits are reduced we are hoping and praying to at least get 48 to 72 hours of calmness out of it, buying us almost another week.
I return on Friday the 11th. If the fluid is not any better or is worse we will began therapeutic amniocentesis. Pray that this is a last resort or a one time deal and that it does not bring on labor and or ruptured membranes.
Pray that our babies who are starting to feel the effects of all the meds and the cocktails to protect their immune systems, enhance the lung growth and the sugar does not allow our babies to be over large, unhealthy and please pray that we are not being dealt any unknown soft tissues defects.
Pray that I find the temperament , the patience and the strength to make it through this and have the strength and ability to recover quickly and care for the family I have struggled and worked so hard to have my whole life.
Pray that some how we can work it out that I can remain home with Anneleise until the delivery in a safe manner that me or the babies are not in jeopardy. I really am trying to get some special time with her but she has decided to choose this month to spread her wings, grow an attitude, become obsessively needy with her father and have an very distinctive opinion and idea of what she wants, she however still has chosen to only use verbal communication at her convenience...ugggh. My heart breaks because I love her so. I cried for three hours last night because she got her first butt whipping from me. She wouldn't look at me for about an hour. I felt like crap, she made me feel like crap but she really did need to get the reality check...this is the part of momma~hood that I could assign to someone else.
August the 1st is Tom's and I 10th Anniversary, if we would deliver we would be able to say that we completed our family after 11 years to the day of trying and loss. Through all of this, the loss of our Aubrey, the struggles and bitter sweetness of Anneleise, the tribulations and stress of these two girls...I already know that it was and has been worth every minute.
The 28th is Tom's birthday. I wouldn't really like for that to be the girls birthday too, however I think it would be just what Tom would want. He loves his girls...and too have two healthy babies laid in his arms on that day after our 11 years trying to get here...Wow.
Personally this weekend won't be soon enough, each moment is frighten, I have so much worry and concern that is almost consuming me, my weakness such as patience and dysfunction and non-multi tasked people are testing each and every morsel of my being.
For the record though..my doc and her staff has rocked, and I couldn't imagine being here with out them...so continue to keep them in your prayers for us as the are faced with new challenges each day with our pregnancy.
I pray also that we are given guidance with choosing our girls names, for some reason know that these are our lst we are having a hard time committing.
SO, there you have it. This is what crap when it hits the fan looks like when written on paper...just be thankful you don't have that Wonka vison screens and you'd have the smell we have....it isn't pleasant.
Today, actually last night the straw that broke the camels back was laid upon me.
We went to the maternal fetal specialist early this am and as the title states...we are buying minutes.
Congratulate me, I can now add insulin dependant pregnancy induced insulin resistance diabetes to my resume of issues. New adhesion's thick enough to be seen via ultrasound, which is frightening in itself and two little babies who bellies can't not get any bigger and who's fluid (amino) is at the upper levels of safe i think 23 something that they can't empty their bladders well.
So here is the newest plan.
Pray to the Lord that we can make it to the 28th. This is like two weeks. I will be 34 weeks and there is basically a 90 % chance of survival among these births at this time period with few if any long term repercussions and delays. The over all hospital stay will be quite less than if we deliver this week.
I started insulin ~ NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS...but what is a mother to do? Please pray that this will help reduce the amount of fluid in the amino sacs or at best slowdown the production of the amino fluid. Please add in your prayers that my body is not over effected in a long term manner from this "temporary" treatment.
We started Indocine again. This is our last 48 hours to use this for fluid reduction and contractions. In the past is has helped each time the benefits are reduced we are hoping and praying to at least get 48 to 72 hours of calmness out of it, buying us almost another week.
I return on Friday the 11th. If the fluid is not any better or is worse we will began therapeutic amniocentesis. Pray that this is a last resort or a one time deal and that it does not bring on labor and or ruptured membranes.
Pray that our babies who are starting to feel the effects of all the meds and the cocktails to protect their immune systems, enhance the lung growth and the sugar does not allow our babies to be over large, unhealthy and please pray that we are not being dealt any unknown soft tissues defects.
Pray that I find the temperament , the patience and the strength to make it through this and have the strength and ability to recover quickly and care for the family I have struggled and worked so hard to have my whole life.
Pray that some how we can work it out that I can remain home with Anneleise until the delivery in a safe manner that me or the babies are not in jeopardy. I really am trying to get some special time with her but she has decided to choose this month to spread her wings, grow an attitude, become obsessively needy with her father and have an very distinctive opinion and idea of what she wants, she however still has chosen to only use verbal communication at her convenience...ugggh. My heart breaks because I love her so. I cried for three hours last night because she got her first butt whipping from me. She wouldn't look at me for about an hour. I felt like crap, she made me feel like crap but she really did need to get the reality check...this is the part of momma~hood that I could assign to someone else.
August the 1st is Tom's and I 10th Anniversary, if we would deliver we would be able to say that we completed our family after 11 years to the day of trying and loss. Through all of this, the loss of our Aubrey, the struggles and bitter sweetness of Anneleise, the tribulations and stress of these two girls...I already know that it was and has been worth every minute.
The 28th is Tom's birthday. I wouldn't really like for that to be the girls birthday too, however I think it would be just what Tom would want. He loves his girls...and too have two healthy babies laid in his arms on that day after our 11 years trying to get here...Wow.
Personally this weekend won't be soon enough, each moment is frighten, I have so much worry and concern that is almost consuming me, my weakness such as patience and dysfunction and non-multi tasked people are testing each and every morsel of my being.
For the record though..my doc and her staff has rocked, and I couldn't imagine being here with out them...so continue to keep them in your prayers for us as the are faced with new challenges each day with our pregnancy.
I pray also that we are given guidance with choosing our girls names, for some reason know that these are our lst we are having a hard time committing.
SO, there you have it. This is what crap when it hits the fan looks like when written on paper...just be thankful you don't have that Wonka vison screens and you'd have the smell we have....it isn't pleasant.
July 06, 2008
Kaboom.
Rumor has it that is what the fourth of July sounded like.
Wouldn't know we were home in bed by 9 ish. Anneleise didn't like the fireworks and her and Tom came home and she was out like a light.
The girls didn't like the storm that washed through here this weekend they have been crazy and I have been contracting like crazy.
Oh, how I want them to be safe and healthy, but it is truly getting harder each day. I am trying not to think about it, however constant contractions are a reminder I can't over look. The terbutaline is getting my sugar so high and making me feel crappy at best.
I have to say to feel this bad I wonder truly if my babies are okay. I am starting to have a lot of anxiety over the condition of the girls. I hope and pray that it is all nothing and will be senseless worry on my part.
Wouldn't know we were home in bed by 9 ish. Anneleise didn't like the fireworks and her and Tom came home and she was out like a light.
The girls didn't like the storm that washed through here this weekend they have been crazy and I have been contracting like crazy.
Oh, how I want them to be safe and healthy, but it is truly getting harder each day. I am trying not to think about it, however constant contractions are a reminder I can't over look. The terbutaline is getting my sugar so high and making me feel crappy at best.
I have to say to feel this bad I wonder truly if my babies are okay. I am starting to have a lot of anxiety over the condition of the girls. I hope and pray that it is all nothing and will be senseless worry on my part.
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