No place like home.

Well, we are all home.

First Beka came home on the 25th then her sister Atty followed the next evening. Beka was greeted with a semi interested welcome from her big sister Anneleise. About two hours after Beka was home she recovered and seemed to do better , by the next day she was open and into holding her and loving on her. The 26th was a crazy day after our training for the monitors and the infant CPR and preemie care we got to bring Atty home on a monitor for her apnea or "suspected" apnea and eating troubles. Anneleise was in bed by the time we got home so when she woke up in the morning she came running into our room looking for Beka and was a bit wide eyed when she saw Atty.

It takes about one and half hours to just feed the two girls due to their immaturity, so we spend about all our waking hours feeding and cleaning up the girls after the feeds. Prayers that this soon improves for them are greatly welcomed, they do work so hard to eat. We noticed the other night they seemed to do better and were staying awake a little more after feedings which means that they are not using as much energy to eat and spare a little for socialization.

She said, "Oh, there she is...then pointed to Atty and said, Oh, there she is..." And that was about that. Anneleise said "two" then ran around like she was crazy yelling for "Blue Clues"

Since they have come home things have been to say the least very exhausting and crazy but it is our crazy and exhausting. Anneleise has not been feeling well with teething she just can't get her last two teeth to come in and they are driving the whole family nutty, but really giving her the what for.

I am very shocked and surprised how difficult my recovery this time around was, but I am older and repeat anything means double the healing so I guess it is to be expected, I just forgot to expect it.

I have to admit that I have been overwhelmed with emotions. Emotions of this being our last pregnancy. These girls ending this era of our life.

I have a million and one post to edit and get up, there has been a lot in my mind going on and even more in my heart. A peek into Whitney's World blog will come alive soon, but I know that it will not be for the faint of heart.

I have found myself with this question..."What do you do when all you know is the fight of infertility and pregnancy and infant loss?" You may think that I kicked infertility butt because we have our girls. Blessed? Oh, deed I know how blessed we are, and I will for ever know this. But tonight I struggle with the reality that in the war of infertility, I may have won the battle but it was not with out causalities and loss.

There is a numbness that surrounds me getting off this ride of infertility, a numbness that I have ignored but just recently realized it stole memories and moments from Aubrey and Anneleise's pregnancy and infant days, and I will not let it steal another from these girls.

On that note, we are all doing well and we are just thrilled with Atty and Beka. They are such a joy and a pleasure to care for and love. I want to share everything with anyone who wants to share, but I need to saver the moments, they really so grow so much so fast.

I hope to get a reprieve and get some pictures developed this week and hope I can get another camera cord for my digital then I promise some pictures