I'm still pregnant.
I love my babies and will continue this fight to keep them in.
They, these girls are insanely active.
They are grounded until they are at least 12 years old.
Enough said.
June 29, 2008
June 23, 2008
No news is not good news.
This is long, not nice and really shows probably the worse side of my personality so read with the idea of getting some entertainment out of it, and take heart that no matter what this pregnant hormonal fluid retentive bed rested women says....she would do anything for her children in or out of the uterus.
Okay my lovely high risk doctor takes the call from the home monitoring company at 2:00 am this morning because my contractions are rocking and they have maxed me out on the Trebutaline. They have no other options, what should we do? My pulse was 131 so no more of Trebutaline tonight.
She calls back, we were hoping to avoid this but I started the Procardia (a heart medication) because the option of Indocine is fading. Indocine makes you or at least me, feel like crapola...capital "C" but it does calm things. I think an Indocine could calm even the most hyper child in the world. Use of Indocine for very long, like 2 days can cause the hole in the babies heart (one that is supposed to be there until birth then it is to close) to close in utero. This would be very bad, also using it after like 31-32 weeks isn't recommended so Procardia has been added to the "be good uterus" cocktail.
The benefit is that the headache I got from the Indocine and the Mag was way worse and after a few days this one should die down...you know your body gives in and just stops fighting the effect of the medications.
As much as my frustration and concern is about the health of our girls, potential problems with my health I am equally upset of how today was handled, which in retrospect is not much different in the past except we are paddling uphill so to speak right now trying to buy some time and I feel our high risk doctor was done wrongly today too.
She was very and has been very compassionate about this concern, I really think that she was the most surprised to see this whole situation that occurred over the Memorial week being that we had no issues with me in the pregnancy itself with our first set of twins. Other than a very horrible birth defect taking our daughters life, the pregnancy was uneventful for twins and my age. Losing Aubrey is not something we take lightly, it is a huge issue in this pregnancy because of just the emotions of losing her itself, so when I say we really had no issues, I mean in the sense of getting them here in a safe and timely manner.
She suggested and requested that since I had not again rest for 24 hours, being tired isn't good either that we could avoid the 1 hour and 35 minute ride to and then back if we could see our local OB/GYN and they/us touch base with some answers and then go from there, her request were to have them check my cervical length, the girls fluid etc. There is a question again if I am, or was, "leaking fluid", I'm not ruptured because with the amount of fluid the girls have right now if I had a rupture one of the sacs, well it would be similar to one of the levees breaking in Iowa right now...sorry that was probably not the best thing I could have compared it too, however the cervix attached to this girls uterus is holding in a boat load of fluid!
We did as requested, they saw me right away.
They as in the the "one" I don't care for, the "one" that I have to say a prayer for before I see him, the "one" that I have to pray for myself control so I don't slap him stupid...err...stupidier, if that isn't a word it should be because he just gets dumber each visit.
I pee'd on a stick, I think she may have turned it over and looked before she tossed it, weighed me ~ gain of 4 pounds in three days (hello flag! we are poly amino I have only gain 11 to date until this week...took my blood pressure with the skinny person cuff on a pleasantly plump pregnant lady's arm.
He looked for my fluid sac vaginally, what the?...he said," it is intact"
I asked, "both are?"
I was told there is no real way of knowing with twins only by the first in line..."there is no dilation," so upon his educated evaluation...this is nothing, but stay on the drugs.
Then only by the grace of God did I not stroke out with a blood pressure issue be cause with a smirk...he acted like he was offering me some new wave techno device and solving all my problems by whipping out the hand doppler and saying, " Wanna hear the heartbeats"?
Upon the sound of a heartbeat he smiled and said " Awe, there is a healthy baby".
He moved it over about 4 inches and said "that one is healthy too..."
Again not being the ignorant hick he must think I am, I asked, "are these two different heart beats"?
I was told again by him again "it is just hard to tell." "You never really know....you know with twins."
This is really when I just wanted to slap the man off this earth.
Our daughter Aubrey's heart sounded perfect each and every time, matter of fact in utero she was amazingly healthy and active and responsive and the epitome of the perfect fetus...ah except that her heart was on the wrong side of her body, she only had a half of lung, her guts uterus included grew in her chest and she never grew a rectum...she had probably 100 ultrasound alone for just her and 3 MRI's and each time her condition worsened or they found something else, so only by ultrasound did we know where we were in the game plan to get her help...but enough of that back to today... yeah Professor Jerk I'll take "Awe, there is a healthy baby" to ease all my fear and concerns....honestly.
I really thought at this point Tom was going to step in and tell him that there is a way of knowing called ultrasound and since we pay all the bills and never owed them a penny maybe he could get out of his own way and get one done...I could see it in his face however I know for a fact it would not have came out in any manner close to that. He wants a new OB/GYN to deliver if we make it past 32 ~34 weeks. I want my high risk doctor or someone she refers I think.
Long story made longer...I left there called the High risk doctor and she fixed it all and I will see her Wednesday...yeah they actually asked me if that office had a ultrasound machine in the office, because we really needed to see if the cervix has shorten, if there was fluid in the canal, if the fluid was lower higher and then seen both reactive babies....so yeah doc holiday this is something that you can't do with an uncomfortable pelvic exam, therefore not only did you not respect the help your peer was offering ~ let me remind you of what she has been doing...you know avoiding a high risk delivery in a moments notice, taking all the midnight calls , all the bleeds and the hospital admissions, doing all the medicine paper , the FMLA paperwork and the home monitoring responsibility...ring a bell? You doc rubbed me the "momma" the wrong way.
I told the my high risk doctor "I guess they were conserving energy and didn't want to turn it on."
I love my regular OB/GYN but I never can get in to see him when we need him so I always meet up with this guy.
One of my biggest issues that these items were requested by her for her purpose, not a plot to get a much desired ultrasound peek of our babies that most normal women desire...yeah a peek would have made me feel at ease but face it is an ultrasound it is a quick fix, things can change in a minute so there is very little long term comfort from one, personally that is. Secondly, I question "Is his ego getting in the way of our babies safety"? Thirdly, he thinks or at least treats me like I am an idiot. For the record I am not an idiot but I am my own advocate and the only one my babies have until they are out and their father can share the load.
So there it is folks...the vent...the vent and the injustice. I have been praying for all day not to resort to name calling and childish ranting however...drugged sleepless and very bloated and really not liken many males ...what is a women in my shape to do?
Well, I'm going to bed. After all my only problem is I am pregnant! Him, well that I think is going to have to be someone else . Jerk.
Oh, yeah there is another post on my site, www.apeekintowhitneysworld.blogspot.com that I think should probably go here, however it too is a male bashing, hormonal end of my rope thought and really I think this one will take the ratings down on my site alone so I best spread the love.... By the way if you are wondering what we need help in....oh I would probably lean toward patience and silence and sudden acts of kindness.....oh yeah and two healthy babies. That is all.
Okay my lovely high risk doctor takes the call from the home monitoring company at 2:00 am this morning because my contractions are rocking and they have maxed me out on the Trebutaline. They have no other options, what should we do? My pulse was 131 so no more of Trebutaline tonight.
She calls back, we were hoping to avoid this but I started the Procardia (a heart medication) because the option of Indocine is fading. Indocine makes you or at least me, feel like crapola...capital "C" but it does calm things. I think an Indocine could calm even the most hyper child in the world. Use of Indocine for very long, like 2 days can cause the hole in the babies heart (one that is supposed to be there until birth then it is to close) to close in utero. This would be very bad, also using it after like 31-32 weeks isn't recommended so Procardia has been added to the "be good uterus" cocktail.
The benefit is that the headache I got from the Indocine and the Mag was way worse and after a few days this one should die down...you know your body gives in and just stops fighting the effect of the medications.
As much as my frustration and concern is about the health of our girls, potential problems with my health I am equally upset of how today was handled, which in retrospect is not much different in the past except we are paddling uphill so to speak right now trying to buy some time and I feel our high risk doctor was done wrongly today too.
She was very and has been very compassionate about this concern, I really think that she was the most surprised to see this whole situation that occurred over the Memorial week being that we had no issues with me in the pregnancy itself with our first set of twins. Other than a very horrible birth defect taking our daughters life, the pregnancy was uneventful for twins and my age. Losing Aubrey is not something we take lightly, it is a huge issue in this pregnancy because of just the emotions of losing her itself, so when I say we really had no issues, I mean in the sense of getting them here in a safe and timely manner.
She suggested and requested that since I had not again rest for 24 hours, being tired isn't good either that we could avoid the 1 hour and 35 minute ride to and then back if we could see our local OB/GYN and they/us touch base with some answers and then go from there, her request were to have them check my cervical length, the girls fluid etc. There is a question again if I am, or was, "leaking fluid", I'm not ruptured because with the amount of fluid the girls have right now if I had a rupture one of the sacs, well it would be similar to one of the levees breaking in Iowa right now...sorry that was probably not the best thing I could have compared it too, however the cervix attached to this girls uterus is holding in a boat load of fluid!
We did as requested, they saw me right away.
They as in the the "one" I don't care for, the "one" that I have to say a prayer for before I see him, the "one" that I have to pray for myself control so I don't slap him stupid...err...stupidier, if that isn't a word it should be because he just gets dumber each visit.
I pee'd on a stick, I think she may have turned it over and looked before she tossed it, weighed me ~ gain of 4 pounds in three days (hello flag! we are poly amino I have only gain 11 to date until this week...took my blood pressure with the skinny person cuff on a pleasantly plump pregnant lady's arm.
He looked for my fluid sac vaginally, what the?...he said," it is intact"
I asked, "both are?"
I was told there is no real way of knowing with twins only by the first in line..."there is no dilation," so upon his educated evaluation...this is nothing, but stay on the drugs.
Then only by the grace of God did I not stroke out with a blood pressure issue be cause with a smirk...he acted like he was offering me some new wave techno device and solving all my problems by whipping out the hand doppler and saying, " Wanna hear the heartbeats"?
Upon the sound of a heartbeat he smiled and said " Awe, there is a healthy baby".
He moved it over about 4 inches and said "that one is healthy too..."
Again not being the ignorant hick he must think I am, I asked, "are these two different heart beats"?
I was told again by him again "it is just hard to tell." "You never really know....you know with twins."
This is really when I just wanted to slap the man off this earth.
Our daughter Aubrey's heart sounded perfect each and every time, matter of fact in utero she was amazingly healthy and active and responsive and the epitome of the perfect fetus...ah except that her heart was on the wrong side of her body, she only had a half of lung, her guts uterus included grew in her chest and she never grew a rectum...she had probably 100 ultrasound alone for just her and 3 MRI's and each time her condition worsened or they found something else, so only by ultrasound did we know where we were in the game plan to get her help...but enough of that back to today... yeah Professor Jerk I'll take "Awe, there is a healthy baby" to ease all my fear and concerns....honestly.
I really thought at this point Tom was going to step in and tell him that there is a way of knowing called ultrasound and since we pay all the bills and never owed them a penny maybe he could get out of his own way and get one done...I could see it in his face however I know for a fact it would not have came out in any manner close to that. He wants a new OB/GYN to deliver if we make it past 32 ~34 weeks. I want my high risk doctor or someone she refers I think.
Long story made longer...I left there called the High risk doctor and she fixed it all and I will see her Wednesday...yeah they actually asked me if that office had a ultrasound machine in the office, because we really needed to see if the cervix has shorten, if there was fluid in the canal, if the fluid was lower higher and then seen both reactive babies....so yeah doc holiday this is something that you can't do with an uncomfortable pelvic exam, therefore not only did you not respect the help your peer was offering ~ let me remind you of what she has been doing...you know avoiding a high risk delivery in a moments notice, taking all the midnight calls , all the bleeds and the hospital admissions, doing all the medicine paper , the FMLA paperwork and the home monitoring responsibility...ring a bell? You doc rubbed me the "momma" the wrong way.
I told the my high risk doctor "I guess they were conserving energy and didn't want to turn it on."
I love my regular OB/GYN but I never can get in to see him when we need him so I always meet up with this guy.
One of my biggest issues that these items were requested by her for her purpose, not a plot to get a much desired ultrasound peek of our babies that most normal women desire...yeah a peek would have made me feel at ease but face it is an ultrasound it is a quick fix, things can change in a minute so there is very little long term comfort from one, personally that is. Secondly, I question "Is his ego getting in the way of our babies safety"? Thirdly, he thinks or at least treats me like I am an idiot. For the record I am not an idiot but I am my own advocate and the only one my babies have until they are out and their father can share the load.
So there it is folks...the vent...the vent and the injustice. I have been praying for all day not to resort to name calling and childish ranting however...drugged sleepless and very bloated and really not liken many males ...what is a women in my shape to do?
Well, I'm going to bed. After all my only problem is I am pregnant! Him, well that I think is going to have to be someone else . Jerk.
Oh, yeah there is another post on my site, www.apeekintowhitneysworld.blogspot.com that I think should probably go here, however it too is a male bashing, hormonal end of my rope thought and really I think this one will take the ratings down on my site alone so I best spread the love.... By the way if you are wondering what we need help in....oh I would probably lean toward patience and silence and sudden acts of kindness.....oh yeah and two healthy babies. That is all.
June 21, 2008
I'm Late, I'm Late...
Much like the Mad Hatter in Alice and Wonderland, I have a million things that need finished and a million to start and very little time, money, help to do it in.
Umph.
Sorry about my luck? Yeah me too. This weekend has yet been another week of hard work keeping these two inside. Someone wants out, I think she may win.
If I can make it to next week I will be shocked. Today although I'm not supposed to be doing much I moved all over the house, I couldn't sit or lay still for very long. Never having true labor with the girls, I did have some pre term labor and know the difference but let me tell you ...these are the real thing, the real McCoy, genuine Bill Cosby's definition of labor pains.
I know I will still be here next week, there are too many people working on this project and more options we have resorted too to think we are at the end yet, however, there is a very ashamed side of me (the one experiencing all the pain from adhesion's, high amino fluid on both the girls, and sickness from the medications) that would like to just say "I'm done." "They have to be better off out than in , how can I feel so horrible and they still thrive and remain safe?"
With prayer and my previous experience in the NICU and medical field I know and will continue to fight to keep them where they need to be. I'm not kidding though, between 32 and 34 weeks if no one has shown their faces yet...they are getting served an eviction notice and it won't be the nice kind either...their placenta's and all are out on the curb!
I'm hoping that things calm, I have to go to the Dr's in the morning now due to all the activity tonight so maybe, my outlook will be revived and I could at least give the girls a week notice before booting their precious little bums out.
Umph.
Sorry about my luck? Yeah me too. This weekend has yet been another week of hard work keeping these two inside. Someone wants out, I think she may win.
If I can make it to next week I will be shocked. Today although I'm not supposed to be doing much I moved all over the house, I couldn't sit or lay still for very long. Never having true labor with the girls, I did have some pre term labor and know the difference but let me tell you ...these are the real thing, the real McCoy, genuine Bill Cosby's definition of labor pains.
I know I will still be here next week, there are too many people working on this project and more options we have resorted too to think we are at the end yet, however, there is a very ashamed side of me (the one experiencing all the pain from adhesion's, high amino fluid on both the girls, and sickness from the medications) that would like to just say "I'm done." "They have to be better off out than in , how can I feel so horrible and they still thrive and remain safe?"
With prayer and my previous experience in the NICU and medical field I know and will continue to fight to keep them where they need to be. I'm not kidding though, between 32 and 34 weeks if no one has shown their faces yet...they are getting served an eviction notice and it won't be the nice kind either...their placenta's and all are out on the curb!
I'm hoping that things calm, I have to go to the Dr's in the morning now due to all the activity tonight so maybe, my outlook will be revived and I could at least give the girls a week notice before booting their precious little bums out.
June 18, 2008
Get this...
So this is it, the top picture in the yellow shirt is me the day before I gave birth to Aubrey and Anneleise. They were 37 weeks and 2 days/ Aubrey had way too much fluid, Anneleise has just barely to get buy till delivery.The bottom picture, the green shirt is me at 28 weeks and 3 days. They both have more fluid than they should, we hope this will be resolved this week with some medications and of course...more bed rest! Whooaaaa!
Being an over achiever by nature, I think I should go ahead and try to let this one go. I really can't imagine getting any bigger than I was with the girls , but with all the steroids and medication that I wasn't on the last time...these girls are going to be bigger so if for some reason I make it to 37 weeks and 2 days.....Whooaaa! That's all I have to say on this topic.
June 08, 2008
A peek of the girls...
As I have said, baby A is so very low and all bunched up that we hardly ever get to see much other than her ear and her rump...although cute we wish we could she her face like on baby B. So this is our best shots this week.
Whoot, Whoot! we are approaching 28 weeks! Prayers for 32 weeks will get us to deliver about one hour and half closer to home and healthy babies...although the care at Adventist was wonderful it is going to be hard to travel especially with the price of gas.
June 05, 2008
Taking them for a spin.
Trying out these names for a few days.....
Rebekka Emmaleigh Rowan Priller (aka baby A)
and
Brennah Elizabeth Maycee Priller (aka baby B)
Any suggestions or ideas we haven't mentioned?
Rebekka Emmaleigh Rowan Priller (aka baby A)
and
Brennah Elizabeth Maycee Priller (aka baby B)
Any suggestions or ideas we haven't mentioned?
June 04, 2008
Pictures coming soon!
I had a good appointment with the high risk doctor yesterday and I just wanted to let everyone know that he prayers are being heard, and things are doing well for the babies. I hope to update better and in more detail but for the moment we are just wiped out. Anneleise has gotten a horrible little virus that has had her very sick since Saturday and after a 16 hour ER visit she was admitted.
Ugh my Priller blessings....what can I say.
Everything is hanging the same with little bed rest over the last four days my blood pressure now is creeping and the contraction are stronger but they have reduced in number and the bleeding has stopped.
My kidney function has all but became manageable now to work on the out of control sugars and nausea.
They girls are 2.6 and 2.8 give or take a bit and very, very active. My doctor said, "my prayers for you are getting answered,but back on bed rest you hear!"
Again lets continue to hope and pray for the 31 week and that my "Toxoplasmosis" is negative. On Mothers day Anneleise gave me a horrible mess for Mothers Day and finger painted my bathroom wall with litter and had it everywhere, we both are being tested being that she has gotten so very sick over the last four days with an "unknown" virus. For me this could prove to bring more worry but at least it is known. Go figure.
Out baby "a" is so stubborn, so was Anneleise, we have hardly no pictures of her with Ultrasound, the tech has tried with these girls and no real luck all I know about her is that she has a cute ear, a chubby rump and has no trouble touching her toes!, of course I have amazing pictures of our baby "b".
Again, the financial stress of the the last week has used our monies up to prepare for the girls this week so hopefully there will be extras soon and as for names we are getting close.
Ugh my Priller blessings....what can I say.
Everything is hanging the same with little bed rest over the last four days my blood pressure now is creeping and the contraction are stronger but they have reduced in number and the bleeding has stopped.
My kidney function has all but became manageable now to work on the out of control sugars and nausea.
They girls are 2.6 and 2.8 give or take a bit and very, very active. My doctor said, "my prayers for you are getting answered,but back on bed rest you hear!"
Again lets continue to hope and pray for the 31 week and that my "Toxoplasmosis" is negative. On Mothers day Anneleise gave me a horrible mess for Mothers Day and finger painted my bathroom wall with litter and had it everywhere, we both are being tested being that she has gotten so very sick over the last four days with an "unknown" virus. For me this could prove to bring more worry but at least it is known. Go figure.
Out baby "a" is so stubborn, so was Anneleise, we have hardly no pictures of her with Ultrasound, the tech has tried with these girls and no real luck all I know about her is that she has a cute ear, a chubby rump and has no trouble touching her toes!, of course I have amazing pictures of our baby "b".
Again, the financial stress of the the last week has used our monies up to prepare for the girls this week so hopefully there will be extras soon and as for names we are getting close.
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