No news is not good news.

This is long, not nice and really shows probably the worse side of my personality so read with the idea of getting some entertainment out of it, and take heart that no matter what this pregnant hormonal fluid retentive bed rested women says....she would do anything for her children in or out of the uterus.

Okay my lovely high risk doctor takes the call from the home monitoring company at 2:00 am this morning because my contractions are rocking and they have maxed me out on the Trebutaline. They have no other options, what should we do? My pulse was 131 so no more of Trebutaline tonight.

She calls back, we were hoping to avoid this but I started the Procardia (a heart medication) because the option of Indocine is fading. Indocine makes you or at least me, feel like crapola...capital "C" but it does calm things. I think an Indocine could calm even the most hyper child in the world. Use of Indocine for very long, like 2 days can cause the hole in the babies heart (one that is supposed to be there until birth then it is to close) to close in utero. This would be very bad, also using it after like 31-32 weeks isn't recommended so Procardia has been added to the "be good uterus" cocktail.


The benefit is that the headache I got from the Indocine and the Mag was way worse and after a few days this one should die down...you know your body gives in and just stops fighting the effect of the medications.


As much as my frustration and concern is about the health of our girls, potential problems with my health I am equally upset of how today was handled, which in retrospect is not much different in the past except we are paddling uphill so to speak right now trying to buy some time and I feel our high risk doctor was done wrongly today too.

She was very and has been very compassionate about this concern, I really think that she was the most surprised to see this whole situation that occurred over the Memorial week being that we had no issues with me in the pregnancy itself with our first set of twins. Other than a very horrible birth defect taking our daughters life, the pregnancy was uneventful for twins and my age. Losing Aubrey is not something we take lightly, it is a huge issue in this pregnancy because of just the emotions of losing her itself, so when I say we really had no issues, I mean in the sense of getting them here in a safe and timely manner.

She suggested and requested that since I had not again rest for 24 hours, being tired isn't good either that we could avoid the 1 hour and 35 minute ride to and then back if we could see our local OB/GYN and they/us touch base with some answers and then go from there, her request were to have them check my cervical length, the girls fluid etc. There is a question again if I am, or was, "leaking fluid", I'm not ruptured because with the amount of fluid the girls have right now if I had a rupture one of the sacs, well it would be similar to one of the levees breaking in Iowa right now...sorry that was probably not the best thing I could have compared it too, however the cervix attached to this girls uterus is holding in a boat load of fluid!

We did as requested, they saw me right away.
They as in the the "one" I don't care for, the "one" that I have to say a prayer for before I see him, the "one" that I have to pray for myself control so I don't slap him stupid...err...stupidier, if that isn't a word it should be because he just gets dumber each visit.

I pee'd on a stick, I think she may have turned it over and looked before she tossed it, weighed me ~ gain of 4 pounds in three days (hello flag! we are poly amino I have only gain 11 to date until this week...took my blood pressure with the skinny person cuff on a pleasantly plump pregnant lady's arm.

He looked for my fluid sac vaginally, what the?...he said," it is intact"
I asked, "both are?"
I was told there is no real way of knowing with twins only by the first in line..."there is no dilation," so upon his educated evaluation...this is nothing, but stay on the drugs.

Then only by the grace of God did I not stroke out with a blood pressure issue be cause with a smirk...he acted like he was offering me some new wave techno device and solving all my problems by whipping out the hand doppler and saying, " Wanna hear the heartbeats"?

Upon the sound of a heartbeat he smiled and said " Awe, there is a healthy baby".

He moved it over about 4 inches and said "that one is healthy too..."
Again not being the ignorant hick he must think I am, I asked, "are these two different heart beats"?

I was told again by him again "it is just hard to tell." "You never really know....you know with twins."

This is really when I just wanted to slap the man off this earth.

Our daughter Aubrey's heart sounded perfect each and every time, matter of fact in utero she was amazingly healthy and active and responsive and the epitome of the perfect fetus...ah except that her heart was on the wrong side of her body, she only had a half of lung, her guts uterus included grew in her chest and she never grew a rectum...she had probably 100 ultrasound alone for just her and 3 MRI's and each time her condition worsened or they found something else, so only by ultrasound did we know where we were in the game plan to get her help...but enough of that back to today... yeah Professor Jerk I'll take "Awe, there is a healthy baby" to ease all my fear and concerns....honestly.

I really thought at this point Tom was going to step in and tell him that there is a way of knowing called ultrasound and since we pay all the bills and never owed them a penny maybe he could get out of his own way and get one done...I could see it in his face however I know for a fact it would not have came out in any manner close to that. He wants a new OB/GYN to deliver if we make it past 32 ~34 weeks. I want my high risk doctor or someone she refers I think.


Long story made longer...I left there called the High risk doctor and she fixed it all and I will see her Wednesday...yeah they actually asked me if that office had a ultrasound machine in the office, because we really needed to see if the cervix has shorten, if there was fluid in the canal, if the fluid was lower higher and then seen both reactive babies....so yeah doc holiday this is something that you can't do with an uncomfortable pelvic exam, therefore not only did you not respect the help your peer was offering ~ let me remind you of what she has been doing...you know avoiding a high risk delivery in a moments notice, taking all the midnight calls , all the bleeds and the hospital admissions, doing all the medicine paper , the FMLA paperwork and the home monitoring responsibility...ring a bell? You doc rubbed me the "momma" the wrong way.

I told the my high risk doctor "I guess they were conserving energy and didn't want to turn it on."

I love my regular OB/GYN but I never can get in to see him when we need him so I always meet up with this guy.

One of my biggest issues that these items were requested by her for her purpose, not a plot to get a much desired ultrasound peek of our babies that most normal women desire...yeah a peek would have made me feel at ease but face it is an ultrasound it is a quick fix, things can change in a minute so there is very little long term comfort from one, personally that is. Secondly, I question "Is his ego getting in the way of our babies safety"? Thirdly, he thinks or at least treats me like I am an idiot. For the record I am not an idiot but I am my own advocate and the only one my babies have until they are out and their father can share the load.

So there it is folks...the vent...the vent and the injustice. I have been praying for all day not to resort to name calling and childish ranting however...drugged sleepless and very bloated and really not liken many males ...what is a women in my shape to do?

Well, I'm going to bed. After all my only problem is I am pregnant! Him, well that I think is going to have to be someone else . Jerk.

Oh, yeah there is another post on my site, www.apeekintowhitneysworld.blogspot.com that I think should probably go here, however it too is a male bashing, hormonal end of my rope thought and really I think this one will take the ratings down on my site alone so I best spread the love.... By the way if you are wondering what we need help in....oh I would probably lean toward patience and silence and sudden acts of kindness.....oh yeah and two healthy babies. That is all.