Another test and another long night.

Another test tomorrow. I go for a check on the Hcg to see if it is rising, dropping or hanging out where we were on Wednesday.
There are definitely some benefits to getting pregnant on your own and naturally, because by the time you miss a cycle, test and get an appointment usually you are half way through the first trimester where the fear of miscarriage and fetal demise resides.
The morning, noon and night sickness is getting better , or I'm just getting use to it. If i had never been pregnant before, never experienced and been the odds I would embrace the vanishing morning sickness, but alas, naive I'm not.
Have I just gotten used to it, have my levels dropped, are our babies okay....Ahhh, the joys of motherhood they neglect to mention. I worry about our babies the day they are given back to me. In the past my body has failed me and my babies , I have trust issues. Wneh they say test tube babies...I sorta wish they were, I could just stare at them, go look would alone have more trust that they will be okay.
There are a bunch of things that weighs on this pregnancy, which is why it not only appears as though I am walking on eggs shells but upside down on a tight rope.
I need to remove the negative and try to remain positive, this the task at hand right now.
If you are still wondering what you could do to help us through this...it is still pray. Pray that our results tomorrow are above and beyond not to low and i worry of miscarriage and not too high where we will worry of hyperstimulating. Pray we are where we need to be and everything is good. Pray that the Lord will lift the burden of any loss from our hearts.