Where oh where oh where is positive reinforcement?

So I went to the regular run of the mill Ob/Gyn today. Got up early, read my passages, said my prayers...prayed the whole way over. I entered the office with extreme happiness and joy that we were here.

With in the first 5 mins of the waiting room experience a women leaves, crying her eyes out.
My heart sank. My mind wondered.

"Did her baby die? Is her baby okay? Did she find out she can never have a baby?

Did her baby have a terrible defect, is there a syndrome that stole her dreams?"

I told myself this is a Ob/Gyn, maybe she has cancer? " or maybe her dead beat "other" gave her something they don't sell at Tiffany's.

Oh dear. I just want to track her down and hug her. I know that this is unrealistic so I just lowered my head and prayed for this women. For what ever she was exposed to may she find strength and courage to make it through.

I know that feeling, I was her every time we left the doctors office. As much as I hate the journey that infertility has taken us on, I wouldn't give it to anyone just to escape it myself.

So 20 mins pass and they call me in, recharged to have a positive appointment and lay my cards on the table...the doctor I saw today nipped that idea in the bud.

"Hi. Congratulations"

"Thank you, we're excited"

"How are you feeling?"

"Good" " Well, a lot of anxiety, but generally good."

"You know your last pregnancy, well there was circumstances, well that played against the general rules of pregnancy, and there were twins."

"Yeah we know, but you know we are having twins again, right?"

"Yeah"

"Well, as I am sure you know, most twins pregnancies don't make it out of the first trimester, and most that do lose one twin"


You get the just of the appointment.
If I would have been able to pick up my heart and jaw and respond, it would had been a lot like.. "Well, duh, yeah, don't you think after all we have been through that we know the possibilities, not only know of the statistics, I'm a member! Why don't you share some of the good things that can happen, you know the advances in medicine etc." Then I would like to had added "that with that attitude it is a good thing that most women get pregnant before they come see you than before or you would be flipping burgers at an all night stand some where."

So anyway, I see the high risk OB on Monday as well as go to the clinic for my discharge from them and my last scan 8 weeks. Nothing positive to report from the medical front, however, I will try to remain positive until Monday when we get to see our babies heart beats again.

If you wondering...you know the drill ~pray.